Jessie's Fanfiction: Curiosity Killed the Dog

[Sesshoumaru]

I'm going to post my finished stories up here, chapter by chapter. I think I'll do Curiosity Killed the Dog first. It's an Inuyasha Story. Not one of my bests, but still rather humorous. Rated PG13 for Inuyasha's potty mouth.

[Sesshoumaru]

(Yesh, I know the Prologue sux. I was in a phase...)

Random Writer's Block Story: Curiosity Killed the Dog [/u]




Prologue: [/u]


It isn't easy to teach someone a lesson, especially when they are stubborn. Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands was as stubborn as they come, so his lesson was a hard learned one. But it is guaranteed that he won't make the same mistake that he did the day he made this one.


Feel the pain & embarrassment of the Lord of the Western Lands [/i][/u]




Story: Start [/u][/b]


Sesshoumaru was a refined demon, not like the filthy lower class. He was an excellent fighter, a gentleman in many ways, and a just ruler, despite his prejudice to humans. However, the taiyoukai was not a god, so he had his flaws. One in particular that could sometimes lead to his downfall was his insatiable curiosity. Whenever he was faced with a puzzle, he usually intended to solve it. This resulted in his taking in of the young human girl, Rin. It also resulted partially in the forging of the Toukijin. With this curiosity, he was able to delve into many mysteries, solve them, and therefore broaden his horizons, but apparently, he'd never heard the expression, “curiosity killed the cat.” As usual, this led to a fault in thought that was nearly fatal…


“Lord Sesshoumaru, what do you think of this?” Rin asked, proudly holding up a squirming fish from the pond.


“A fine day's catch for you, Rin. You always do well to provide for yourself, something I admire.”


Sesshoumaru himself was contemplating returning home for nourishment. Although he didn't eat “human food,” there were certain victuals in which he could indulge as Rin did. Fish wasn't on the list. As a growing youkai prince, he needed a large amount of high energy replacement human foods to satiate his appetite, or else he could also go hunting for substitution fresh, raw meat. Yes, that's what he would do tonight. Rin and Jaken would not object if he took Ah-Un with him to search for food. He was sure.


“Jaken, Rin, I am taking Ah-Un with me to search for food. I should return by the end of the day, or perhaps I may return tomorrow morning. Either way, you two are on your own for a while. Do your best not to annoy each other.”


“Yes, M'lord. Rin will behave.”


“We will await your return, Master Sesshoumaru,” Jaken said obediently.


Sesshoumaru boarded Ah-Un's back, then the little imp and Rin watched as he disappeared into the horizon.


“Master Jaken, where has Sesshoumaru-sama gone, if it isn't too bold to ask?”


Jaken sighed.


“Most likely, he has gone on a hunt. Even demon lords such as he need sustenance.”


“Sustenance?”


“Food, energy.”


“Oh.”


***


<<So,>> Sesshoumaru said in an animal dialect that only certain entities could understand <<Where do you think is the best place for a hunt?>>


-Milord there isn't much good meat in this forest, I must say,- Ah replied. -And perhaps we should take extra care that you are well fed.-


<<Hn. This must not have anything to do with the torpor state I lapse into when my metabolic rate slows to accommodate the shortage of food, must it?>>


~Perhaps it does, but we were also thinking for you as our master, ~ Un replied.


Suddenly, the taiyoukai took a whiff of the air and sensed someone familiar…


“Inuyasha!”


<<You were trying to steer me away, weren't you?>> he said accusingly.


-Yes, M'lord, for we fear this is not the best of times for a fight. You must gather your strength.-


~We apologize.~


<<Hn. You doubt my ability?>>


-Of course not. We know you are a powerful demon. However, there are times at which the strong must gather themselves.-


<<That is true. Very well, let us move further upwind…>>


Suddenly, Sesshoumaru scented a sweet smell; one he'd never experienced.


<<Do you smell it?>>


~Smell what, Sesshoumaru-sama?~


<<It smells sweet. It's obviously aberrant to these lands…>>


-Here we go,- Ah growled in half bemusement and half exasperation.


<<Follow it.>>


***


“Inuyasha, your ramen's getting cold.”


Inuyasha ignored Kagome, concentrating on the person he smelled. He knew it was his half-brother, but he didn't want to alarm anyone.


Keep your distance, you bastard. I don't want to fight now. Let me be in peace…


No such luck. Not with a person like Sesshoumaru. As the scent neared, he thumbed the Tetsusaiga.


“Guys, Sesshoumaru is headed this way,” he said softly. A growl rose in his throat.


Suddenly, the said demon burst from the forest astride Ah-Un.


“Ah, so the source of the scent is coming from your comrades, brother,” Sesshoumaru said.


“What the hell are you talking about, jackass?”


Quicker than the eye could see, Sesshoumaru snatched up Kagome's backpack and stood by Ah-Un as he began to root through it. As he was doing this, his stomach chose to let out an extra-loud groan of hunger.


“Oh, so that's why you're screwin' with Kagome's stuff. You're hungry,” Inuyasha said with a sneer.


<<Don't presume to think I would eat just any filthy ningen food. I merely scented something new. Something sweet.>>


“Here it is. You may have this trash back.”


Sesshoumaru threw the backpack to the ground, pocketing a large Ziploc bag of foodstuffs before remounting his steed.


“I bid you farewell.”


And just like that, he was gone.


“Your brother never ceases to mystify me, Inuyasha,” Miroku said.


“Ah, the bastard just has this curiosity complex. Kagome, what did he steal?”


“…He stole Shippo's chocolate…” she said softly.


“WHAT?!?!”


The young kitsune pitched a fit at her words.


“That mutt! Those were mine!!”


“That's not what's scaring me,” Kagome said gravely. “Demon-dogs react the same way to things as normal dogs, right Inuyasha?”
“Yeah, so?”


“Chocolate makes dogs seriously sick.”


“So?”


“So Sesshoumaru is going to get ill off of it.”


“So?”


“So he can't rule his lands.”
“So?”


“So the lands will be in disarray and he could lose possession over the Western province.”


“So?”


“So we have to make sure he doesn't eat it, or at least help him if he does.”


“So?”


“Inuyasha, it doesn't even make sense to say `so'. I can't put it any clearer.”


“Read my lips, wench: I'm not helping that son of a b**ch!”

“Read my lips,” Kagome said annoyedly. “SIT!”

THUMP!!

“Oww…”[/font]

[Sesshoumaru]

Aw, come on, it's not that boring, is it?

[Chance Harebell]

Hey, sorry I didn't read it, not much time, ya' know.^^ But it's awesome, please tell me there's more.

[Sesshoumaru]

Yeah, there's about 13 more chapters, actually! I'll post them soon.

[Chance Harebell]

Awesomness. Although, to save room in your thread, you may want to just post links to you chapters, if you have them posted on a fanfiction site.

[Sesshoumaru]

Yeah, good idea...but then I'm afraid peeps won't read...

[Chance Harebell]

Actually, it might get more people to read. Easier, ya' know.

[Hiei Jaganshi]

I think it's pretty funny, even just so far... I can't wait to read more of it! I absolutely love it! My few fanfics usually star my made-up character, and almost always romance... My made-up, Baku-Inu, likes Koga, soooo... yeah... Anyway, this is really good so far! Don't forget to post more of it soon, Sesshoumaru! ^^

[Sesshoumaru]

Sorry I haven't posted in like...forever. And I was planning on posting links to it, but I thought that would be useless, since there would be no point to trying to create cliffhanging...hm...I like reviews, sorry...
*****************************************
Ch. 2

::What is this?::

-We know not, M’lord,- Ah said, rolling his eyes.

‘After all, you’re the one who brought it back, if I may be so bold to say it.’

Sesshoumaru gave Un a dirty look, then pulled out a small, spherical object in a plastic pouch. The object was about the size of a human eyeball and a vibrant red. With no regard to the words on the wrappings, he tore them away and held the ball in his hand. He gave it a sniff, then popped the thing in his mouth. Immediately, its flavor began to rush through his mouth, the momentary sugar rush threatening to make him heave. His eyes then began to water profusely and he spat the thing out.

“Cough!! I need water!!”

Sesshoumaru ran through the forest until he found a stream, then plunged his head in and began to suck in mouthfuls of it. Even as he pulled his head up and shook himself dry, he could still feel the burn of the Fireball in his mouth.

“Ugh. Those objects are not good.”

The lord then made his way back to Ah-Un and the bag of candies. He rooted through the very large bag and was surprised to feel cold metal meet his soft fingers.

“Hn. What is this, now?”

He withdrew a can. This time being cautious, he read the words on the artifact.

“Coca-Cola...classic...hmm...calories 140...save $15 in advance with coke can to Halloween Horror Nights...wha...”

Unable to discern the meaning, he stared at the top. A small tab was pressed to the can. He carefully slid his finger under it, then pulled it up.

A loud “CLICK!” sound was made as the can opened. Smiling at his cleverness, he swilled the can around, only to hear sloshing.

“Ah. A liquid. As it is in this bag, perhaps it is for drinking.”

He put the can to his lips and took the tiniest sip.

-Is it good, Master?-

A smile came upon Sesshoumaru’s face.

::It is very good!::

He drank about half the can in one gulp, then decided to save the rest for later. He licked his lips. The liquid left an unsettled, tingly feeling in his belly, but at the same time, he felt pretty nice...

Suddenly, the taiyoukai felt some sort of bubble move up his throat and...

BUURP!

-M’lord, have you lost it? You usually have more manners than that...- Ah said playfully.

::It wasn’t on purpose,:: Sesshoumaru said in fascination, quite forgetting to excuse himself. Never had he felt a bubble of gas like that! To be sure, he was capable of executing the action, but it felt sort of strange to do it after drinking this substance...

::Let us explore further into the bag.::

Sesshoumaru next pulled out a small rectangle. This, this, is what he was smelling most of all. He examined the small rectangular prism, turning it in his palm and poking it with his claw experimentally. Finally, he slid his claw under the wrapping and was able to remove it.

Now what sat in his hand was a small, brown bar.

‘Is it poison?’ Un wondered.

::Decidedly not; this is what the wench often brings the kit as I gather it. From what I heard, I stole the brat’s treat. That is when we went out of earshot.::

Sesshoumaru poked at it with his claw, then put pressure on it. Surprisingly, his claw sank in a bit.

“It is not very firm,” he mused. He ran the single claw down the bar and a small corkscrew of it came away in his hand. “Nor is it very pliable. It merely comes away.”

He inhaled the scent and smirked. It already tasted delicious, especially to a youkai as hungry as he. He finally bit into the substance and his smile grew. The sugar was flooding his senses, pure pleasure to his taste buds.

Rapidly, he peeled the wrapper off of another and ate it.

-M’lord, are you sure this is a wise idea?- Ah said worriedly, ears pulled back in apprehension.

Sesshoumaru gave a small candy bar to each of the dragon heads.

‘He was not lying, Ah! These little edibles are quite scrumptious!’

-I agree, Un, but still...-

::Desist ruining my fun!:: Sesshoumaru said, downing another chocolate.

-Ah, well...-

The left dragon head rolled his eyes once again.

-However, I would like meat, so Un, if you would please...-

‘Very well...’

The two-headed dragon took off, leaving Sesshoumaru to his contention. Once they were out of his earshot, Un smiled.

‘I have never seen Sesshoumaru-sama so happy since we entered his service.’

-Indeed,- Ah agreed. –I’m glad he is happy.-

Back on the ground, Sesshoumaru had finished the bag of chocolate and the can of soda, and was starting to feel full of energy.

“Ineedtodosomething!” he said in one breath.

“MaybeI’llgoslayayoukai! Yesthatisit! Iwillslayayoukai!”

He began to bound at superhuman speed to the closest living thing. Unfortunately for him, that was Rin and Jaken.

“Haa!!”

He tackled Jaken and they rolled a ways away until Sesshoumaru stopped, squatting on the squealing imp.

“L-l-lord Sesshoumaru?!” he stammered.

Sesshoumaru had a smile on his face as he let Jaken up.

“What has happened, milord?”

“Wellitslikethis. Iatesomebrownstuffanditmademeallhappy,canyouandRinplaywithme?” the taiyoukai said quickly.

“P-play?!?!”

“I’ll play with you, Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin said. She tagged his shoulder.

“Hn?”

“Tag, you’re it!”

Sesshoumaru gave her a puzzled look, then tapped her back.

“You’re it.”

“No, Master Sesshoumaru, you are!”

He shoved her back softly.

“You!”

“You’re it!” She said, running away.

And so this game of tag went.

After about an hour, Ah-Un had returned and the sugar rush that Sesshoumaru had gotten wore off so he decided to get back to traveling. What was more is that he could smell Inuyasha.

“It seems he wants his bag back. Oh, well.”

Sesshoumaru, Rin, and Jaken piled onto Ah-Un.
::Go as fast as you possibly can to the north. Inuyasha I know is not familiar with those lands. If we wind circles, he is bound to get himself lost. His nose is nothing to mine.::

‘Affirmative, M’lord.’

The dragons spent an hour and a half winding circles and whatnot around the Northern lands. They were about to complete a particularly intricate figure eight when Sesshoumaru began to feel unwell.

::Ah-Un...let’s stop...:: he said, feeling his stomach jolt.

Ah-Un began to dive and he moaned.

“Are you okay, Master?” Rin queried.

“I am not feeling my best,” the taiyoukai groaned.

He pressed his head into Ah’s neck. The dragon felt his discomfort and nuzzled him.

-We are nearly there, Sesshoumaru.-

::I am not sure that I will make it there...::

As the dragon’s claws finally touched the ground, Sesshoumaru tumbled off Ah-Un’s back and fell on his tail-side shoulder with another groan. His stomach felt ready to explode. His face started to flush out as a fever began to plague him.

“Rin, leave me...please...”

“Yes, my lord. If that is what you wish...”

“Jaken, accompany her...”

“Er...very well...”

Sesshoumaru rolled until he was on his knees.

“What is happening to me?” he wondered in dismay.

-Milord, I did try to warn you...-

Sesshoumaru felt like a fool. Once again, his curiosity had gotten his better. He was sure that his bastard brother would get a hell of a kick from his predicament.

Just as he finished the thought, he began to get sick. Un whimpered and Ah shook his head in sorrow as wave after wave of nausea passed through Sesshoumaru’s body, causing him to expel the chocolate he had previously eaten. After a few minutes, he finally stopped and collapsed back onto his side, completely exhausted and still feeling ill and faint. The last thing he saw was Ah-Un’s face as the dragon licked him softly.

:: I am very sorry that I did not trust your judgments. I suppose this is due punishment...:: he said in a low dog whimper.

[Hiei Jaganshi]

Whoa..........And that is why dogs should not have chocolate... I loved the part where he was all hyper, though. That was hilarious!